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50 Funny Sarcastic Work Quotes

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  • May 19, 2022May 19, 2022

The workplace can be a crazy place sometimes. You get to meet different people from different background with a different mindset towards work. If you are working with a group of people, I bet you may have experienced such crazy people before. These people may be your close colleague or even your boss.

On this post, I will share will you some funny sarcastic work quotes to make you smile. In fact, some of these quotes will make you remember somethings about your workplace. You can as well send these funny sarcastic work quotes as an indirect message via WhatsApp status, Facebook post or tweet via tweeter to whom it may concern in your office

Funny sarcastic work quotes are concise sentences, which can be very funny but also express wisdom, and awakening motivation, inspiration, happiness and thoughts condensed into a few words and as usual, we are not the author of these funny sarcastic work quotes but do we try as much as possible to add the author’s name to the quotes.

Funny Sarcastic Work Quotes

 A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B. – Fats Domino

Always remember that the toes you step on today could be attached to the ass you have kiss tomorrow.

Appearing busy to avoid being laid off has become more exhausting than actually working.

 As I have gotten older and wiser I discovered that there are six things that I really loved about my job. Payday, lunchtime, quitting time, vacation time, holidays, and of course retirement. — Tom Goins

Congratulations on getting promoted to the job you’re already doing.

Dear Co-worker, Yes, please continue to talk incessantly even though I’m doing everything I can to avoid making eye contact with you.

Everybody brings joy to this office… some when they enter, some when they exit.

Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train. Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going sixty miles an hour and you’re just sitting still? — J. Paul Getty

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? — Edgar Bergen

I actively avoid office politics by hating everybody equally.

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

I can barely wait to take credit for your great ideas.

 I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. — Jerome K. Jerome

I need to lower the standard I set for myself to match the level of competency of some of the f***tards I work with.

I send pointless emails late at night to impress coworkers.

I should get an award for how I’ve managed to not punch you in the face every time I see you.

I wake up with a good attitude every day. Then idiots happen.

I wish we worked together so we could hate the same coworkers.

I work so I can afford the amount of alcohol required to continue going to work.

I’d appreciate you not complaining to me about your job until I have a job to complain about.

I’d have better people skills if I worked with better people.

I’m going to miss having you around to blame for the quality of my work.

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

I’m sorry. I was listening until, out of nowhere, I became distracted by this loud, obnoxious noise that turned out to be your voice.

 I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need if I die by four o’clock. — Henny Youngman

 If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock. — Claude McDonald

It’s a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work. He can’t eat for eight hours; he can’t drink for eight hours; he can’t make love for eight hours. The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work. — William Faulkner

It’s so quiet in the office today, I can hear myself not working.

Leaving the office for lunch is the new vacation day.

Let’s spend countless hours preparing for a meeting that will be delayed, cancelled, or misrepresented.

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. — George Carlin

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck. – Anonymous

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work. — Author Unknown

Nothing brightens up a room like your absence.

Office politics – you have to learn the rules of the game and then you have to play them better than anyone else.

 Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar. – Drew Carey

Please submit your ideas to me today so I can submit them as my own tomorrow.

Please try to schedule meetings around my job interviews.

Sometimes doing a good job at work is like wetting your pants in a dark suit – you get a warm feeling, but nobody else notices.

Sometimes I have my headphones in at work with nothing playing so I don’t have to interact with chatty co-workers.

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.​ — Homer Simpson

The easiest job in the world has to be a coroner. Surgery on dead people. What’s the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you’d get a pulse. — Dennis Miller

The hardest job in the world is having to listen to you complain about having the hardest job in the world.

The mountain of paperwork on my desk makes me envy the trees that died to produce it.

The only significant difference between work and hell is probably that I would like more people in Hell.

 The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen. — Sarah Brown

There’s no better vacation than my boss being on vacation.

 There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.​ — David Letterman

 There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?​ -​Kin Hubbard

We acknowledge that there is no ‘I’ in team, but there is definitely a ‘U’ in cunt.

We’re all going to really miss doing your work for you.

 When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?’ — Don Marquis

When you don’t do it, you’re lazy. When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.

 You can’t have a million-dollar dream with a minimum wage worth ethic. — Zig Ziglar

You don’t have to be crazy to work here. We’ll train you.

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